Here’s my collection of those questions that just
don’t have an answer
For
questions that do have an answer click here
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour
before getting out of the water?
After they make Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they
go back to?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do blind Eskimos have guide sled dogs?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Do Maxwell House employees take coffee breaks?
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot
a mime?
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people
would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Does "fuzzy logic" tickle?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical
situations?
How can I be unique, if everyone else is, too?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can something be "new and improved"?
If it's new what was it improving on?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How can you be alone with somebody?
How come the bullets that work are fired, and the
ones that don't work are not?
How come wrong numbers are never engaged?
How did the fool and his money get together?
How did the guy who invented cottage cheese know
when it was ready?
How do "Do Not Walk On Grass" signs get
there?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How do they get deer to cross at those yellow signs?
How do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
How do you know that dog food has an improved taste?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How do you know when yoghurt goes bad?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does a thermos flask know whether a drink should
be hot or cold?
How does the man who drives the snow plough get to
work in the mornings?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of
your home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where the bus stops, what is
a workstation?
If a funeral procession is at night, do they drive
with their lights off?
If a mute swears does his mother make him wash his
hands with soap?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a
picture of a thousand words worth?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest does it make
a sound?
If a tin horn is made from tin, what is a foghorn
made from?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or
naked?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how
would we know?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience
sitting?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a
green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her
friends?
If buttered toast always lands buttered side down
and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if
you tie a buttered piece of toast to a cat's back and
drop it?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil
come from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
If fire-fighters fight fire and crime-fighters fight
crime, what do freedom-fighters fight?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
a "terminal"?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific
mean to make terrible?
If hot air rises,
why is it so cold at the North Pole?
If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If jail and prison are synonymous, why aren't jailer
and prisoner?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If no man is an island, where does that leave the
Isle of Man?
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have
to drown too?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
If practice makes perfect but nobody's perfect, why
practice?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened
to the rabbit?
If someone invented instant water, what would they
mix with it?
If someone offers a penny for your thoughts, and
you put your two pennyworth in, who pays the other penny?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens
to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If sour milk is used to make yoghurt, how do you
know when yoghurt is bad?
If Superman is so clever why does he wear his underpants
over his trousers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he
has the right to remain silent?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So, one moose,
2 meese? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If the teacher taught, why hadn't the preacher praught?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians
eat?
If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still
be hungry?
If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
If you get wrapping paper for a present, how do you
know when to stop unwrapping?
If you had a million Shakespeares, would they write
like a monkey?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's law will something
keep going wrong?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become
kitty litter?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light,
what happens when you turn on the headlights?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the
truth? If you're going to lie, would you tell them?
Instead of talking to your plants, what if you yelled
at them? Would they be troubled and insecure?
Is a metaphor just like a simile?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because
they taste funny?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they
do "practice"?
Just before someone gets nervous are the butterflies
in their stomach cocoons?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What do you do if an endangered animal eats an endangered
plant?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happened to the first six ups?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?
What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What is a free gift?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What were barn owls
called before there were any barns?
What would we have called the colour orange if it
wasn't a fruit?
What's another word for thesaurus?
What's the speed of dark?
When a house burns up, why do we say it burns down?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it
say?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written
on their picket signs?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper,
does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring
at carpet?
Where do flies go when it rains?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp"
to have an "s" in it?
Why are "wrong numbers" never engaged?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why are articles of clothing like trousers, shorts,
and pants called a pair when there is only one of them?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why are buildings still called buildings even after
they have been built?
Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats
instead of parachutes?
Why are they called "apartments" when they're
joined together?
Why are they called "stands" when they
are made for sitting?
Why are they called TV sets when you only get one?
Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?
Why call them hot water heaters if the water is already
hot?
Why can't women put on mascara without opening their
mouths?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters
in "anagram"?
Why didn't Noah swat those two wasps?
Why do banks charge you a "insufficient funds
fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just
stale bread to begin with.
Why do doctors call what they do practice?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a pack and hot dog rolls
only eight?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made
for jumping on?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do parcels say “open here”. Where else would
you go?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why do they put an expiry date on a container of
sour cream?
Why do they report power cuts on TV?
Why do they sterilise the needles for a lethal injection?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and
then put money in telescopes so they can see things
on the ground in close-up?
Why do we first chop a tree down and then chop it
up?
Why do we play at a recital and recite at plays?
Why do we say "the alarm is sounding" when
an alarm goes off?
Why do women wear evening gowns to night-clubs? Shouldn't
they be wearing night-gowns?
Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when
you know the battery is dead?
Why do you sink so slowly in quick sand?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart
and stick together?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up"
mean the same thing?
Why do you never see the headline, "psychic
wins lottery"?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it's
ringing?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does the sun lighten your hair but darken your
skin?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what
it is?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
Why is it called "rush hour" when everything
moves so slowly?
Why is it called a guinea pig when it's not a pig
and not from Guinea?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid
of a coffin?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic"?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's
chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it that two wrongs don't make a right but
three rights make a left?
Why is it that when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible?
Why is it that when two planes almost hit each other
it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be
called a "near hit"?
Why is it that when we send something by truck, it's
called a shipment but if we send something by ship,
it's called cargo?
Why is it that when you are driving and looking for
an address you always turn down the radio?
Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face he gets
annoyed, but when you take him in a car, he sticks his
head out the window?
Why is it that to stop Windows you have to press
"Start"?
Why is it that whether you sit up or down the result
is the same?
Why is it that wise guy and wise man mean entirely
different things?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a
day?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavourings,
but washing up liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because
of that song?
Why is the man who invests all your money called
a broker?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same
way backwards?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured catfood?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why, when I wind up my watch, do I start it, but
when I wind up this list, I end it?
Submit
your own unanswered questions
Make sure
they’re humorous, clean, and understood in a British
context